I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Randomize
