woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
how drunk are you?
Several
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
