better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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