I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Randomize
