Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Randomize
