Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
