i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
