I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Randomize
