so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize
