She's JV to your varsity
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
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