His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
