she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
