I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
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