"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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