i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Randomize
