I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Found your dick twin last night
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
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