would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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