so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
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