sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize