In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Randomize
