is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Randomize