bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
