Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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