WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
