Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
Randomize
