okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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