I hate your face
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
I'm getting married
To pizza
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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