if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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