I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Randomize
