Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
Actions speak louder than pants.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
Randomize
