I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize
