her vagina looked like bernie madoff
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Randomize
