I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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