a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Randomize
