His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
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