Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
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