just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Randomize
