they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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