So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Randomize
