So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
