I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
