I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Randomize
