you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Randomize
