if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
