She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
