To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
he was CRYING into my vagina
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Randomize
