I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
