listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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