if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
