I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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