You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
Randomize
