Old men and throwing up are my life now.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Randomize
