have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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