Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
When did angry sex become our thing?
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
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