He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
