Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
How's work?
Spinning.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
