they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
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