piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
Just cropdusted the office
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
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