there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
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