On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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